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Dreams - Dream Interpretation With James Harvey Stout
Sharing Our Dreams
Benefits from sharing our dreams. When we talk about our
dreams with other people, we learn about dreams, ourselves, and the
people with whom we are sharing.
- We learn about dreams. When people tell us their dreams, we gain
insight into their personal dreamscape, their symbolism (and their
ways of interpreting or dreamworking that symbolism), and their ways
of managing dreamland problems and possibilities. We can use much of
this information in our own dream studies. And when we talk about
dreams, this attention helps us to recall more of them; this further
advances our education.
- We learn about ourselves. When we describe our dreams to other
people, their feedback gives us different perspectives -- perhaps ones
which are more honest than our own, because those people don't have
the repressions and biases that distort our interpretations of our own
dreams. They help us to see meanings which we don't discern because of
our limited perspective and possibly because our reluctance to probe
into unpleasant parts of our psyche. Also, because dreams have more
than one meaning, other people's interpretations can help us to
discover those additional meanings; otherwise, we might have been
satisfied with the first interpretation which occurred to us.
- We learn about other people. We strengthen relationships when we
talk about dreams with people whom we trust and love; the "trust"
implies that the information will not be ridiculed or gossipped or
used against us later, and the "love" means that we accept the
person's weaknesses and shadowy unpleasantries which might be
expressed in the dream. Within the context of dream-sharing, we can
talk about our intimate feelings, our fears, our passions, and the
ways in which we view our lives and the world. When we discuss a
dream, we have a means of addressing an issue in our relationship
without a direct confrontation; the dream itself brought up the issue,
and it did so in a manner in which we can comfortably disclaim
responsibility (however incorrectly) for the emotions which were
expressed, because it was a dream character (and not us) who said
something pertaining to the subject. Remember that a dream in which
the other person appears is not necessarily a dream about that person;
the character might be representing something else. But sometimes the
character does symbolize that person; if so, he or she is
likely to have dreamed about us in return.
We can start a "dream group." Some dreamers participate in
groups in which they discuss their dreams with other people who are
interested in this subject. Some ideas about dream groups:
- We gain rewards from our membership in a dream group. These are
the same benefits which we receive from sharing dreams with friends
and family; in a group, we can talk about dreams with even more
people. We develop the friendships and emotional intimacy which are
engendered in an environment which is ideally a safe arena for such
warm, human sharings.
- The members. If we cannot find a dream group which suits our
interests, we can start one. The members might be from our family, our
circle of friends, our co-workers, or other acquaintances. To find
more members, we can write a newspaper ad, or post a notice at a
community bulletin board at libraries, churches, colleges
(particularly in the psychology department), senior citizen centers,
health food stores, bookstores, and other places. We might want
members who have common interests and backgrounds; this will encourage
an immediate camaraderie and communication. However, a diverse group
will generate a broader range of perspectives.
- The size of the group. Some groups function best with only four
people; most have fewer than ten. When we have more people, we receive
more viewpoints, but this allows less time per person for the sharing
of dreams. (In some gatherings, only one dream is discussed in each
meeting.) If our group becomes too large, we can split it into two
groups. At the meetings, visitors might be prohibited because these
strangers tend to inhibit members from revealing their private
feelings.
- The location and frequency of the meetings. We might meet in the
same person's home each time, or we could rotate from one to another.
Some groups meet in churches, libraries, or community halls. The
members need to agree on a convenient meeting time -- once a week,
twice a month, or once a month. They also need to decide upon a length
of time for the meetings -- perhaps two or three hours.
- The first meeting. This is an opportunity to meet one another and
to sow the friendliness and trust which will make the group a success.
The personal information which is shared helps us to interpret one
another's dreams because we learn about the wakeful-life factors which
will be represented in those dreams. In addition to the social
interaction, we also explain our interest in dreams, our approaches to
dreams (e.g., Freudian, Gestalt, creative daytime dreamwork, lucidity,
or another), and the benefits we hope to get from our participation.
(A similar introduction might be presented whenever a new person joins
the group.)
- The leader of the group. Some groups are directed by a
psychologist or psychiatrist who can contribute expertise (and
skillful therapy for people who encounter emotional turbulence in
their dreams or wakeful life); the disadvantage is that this "expert"
is likely to impose a particular psychological approach toward dreams
(and he or she will probably charge a fee for each meeting). In groups
which are not conducted by a professional, the leader is just one of
the members. The role is to oversee the agreed-upon format of the
meeting; this includes starting and ending the session (and each phase
of it), assuring that each person has an opportunity to contribute
dreams and comments, and reminding the members of any "rules"
regarding confidentiality, eclectic acceptance of differing opinions
and approaches, egalitarian sharing (with no one presuming to be an
authority on dreams), and so on. We might choose one person to be the
"permanent" leader, or we might rotate the duty among the
participants.
- The members must develop trust. When we share dreams (and discuss
their psychological meaning), we are exposing feelings and thoughts
which lie far below our superficial social persona. We must work on
this intimate level in order to understand a dream. To allow us to
open up to one another, the dream group must create an ambiance of
respect, gentleness, compassion, and comfort -- without sacrificing
honesty in speaking about one another's dreams. The dreams should be
confidential; members cannot talk about another person's dreams
outside of the group.
- The dreamer can stop the process. We should share only the dreams
which we suspect will not reveal something which we wish to keep
private -- but this might be impossible, because any dream could
expose embarrassing or upsetting information. When we do talk about
our dreams and emotions, we should not feel compelled to disclose a
particular dream, or to examine a dream to an extent which makes us
uneasy, or to allow other members to continue a line of questioning
which disturbs us. We can stop the discussion at any point without
divulging our reason. However, if we are not willing to unmask
ourselves to some degree, we probably should not be participating in a
dream group.
- The interpretations can continue. Instead of stopping the process,
the dreamer might want to proceed. In a supportive group, a member is
allowed to express the emotions which arise, and to cry. However, the
members should probably stay on the subject of the dream itself rather
than trying to analyze the dreamer's personal life. The members are
not professional therapists, so they risk damaging the dreamer
psychologically if they delve too deeply into the emotions which are
provoked.
- The format of the meeting. The following format has been presented
by people who have operated dream groups. We can vary the process to
suit the members of our own group. The amount of time for each segment
of the format can be decided in advance -- and it can be monitored by
a kitchen timer rather than by a person with a watch; that time-keeper
would probably receive unconscious resentments whenever he or she told
a member that the time had elapsed.
 | The opening statement. After the members have arrived, greeted
one another, and shared some small talk, we start the meeting. The
opening statement is an opportunity for each person to describe
their feelings at this moment (and their feelings since the last
meeting). The information helps the other members to understand the
context in which the person's dream occurred. During this time,
members might also share any dreamwork creations (paintings or other
artwork based on dreams). Refreshments can be served now or at the
end of the meeting. |
| This helps us to relax, create a group unity, and shift our
thoughts into a contemplative mode. A centering exercise can include
a prayer, or chanting (e.g., OM), or meditation, or simply a minute
of silence. During this time, we might hold hands with one another.
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| Everyone shares a dream. Only one or two dreams will be
interpreted during the meeting, but everyone should be allowed to
read a dream to the group; this allows all members to participate in
the dream-sharing. However, no one is required to read a dream.
During this phase of the meeting, the dreams are shared without
interpretations from the other people. The members should have a
copy from which to read; they might also want to have a photocopy
for all of the other members. |
| A dream is selected for interpretation. Depending on the amount
of time in the meeting, and the amount of time spent on each dream,
we might be able to review one or more dreams per session. Whose
dream should be interpreted tonight? This can be determined on a
rotating basis, or the drawing of names randomly, or group
consensus, or by a member's feeling that his or her dream has an
urgency which requires an interpretation. |
| The dream is read. All of the members presented their dreams
previously, but now they listen again to the dream which is to be
interpreted. The speaker should use the first person (i.e., the
dream persona is referred to as "I," not "the character"), present
tense, emotional expression (with a dramatic story-telling flair),
and all details of the dream. He or she can employ gestures and body
language to convey the story, even to the point of standing and
portraying some of the actions. The recitation simply describes the
characters and activity of the dream, with no interpretation. The
listeners may take notes (and they may shut their eyes to imagine
the dream as they hear it), but they should not make comments. |
| The other members ask for clarification. We can inquire about
details which were not mentioned, or any part which we didn't
understand. We don't begin the interpretation yet; these questions
simply establish the superficial "manifest content." |
| The members discuss the dream. During this stage, the dreamer
offers no comments or nonverbal responses, and the other members do
not look at or speak to the dreamer. This is an opportunity to give
our impressions of the symbolism and emotions. We talk about the
dream as if we had dreamed it ourselves, from our own feelings and
circumstances rather than those of the dreamer -- and we shouldn't
even refer to the personal data which we know about the dreamer's
wakeful life. To emphasize this perspective, we might start our
sentences with the phrase, "If that were my dream, ..." With this
approach, we can express our notions freely without concern about
upsetting or imposing on the dreamer; after all, we are speaking as
though the dream is ours. We are likely to evoke a large range of
viewpoints, some of which will be meaningful to the dreamer. One
member can write the comments; they will be given to the dreamer at
the end of the meeting. |
| The dreamer responds to the comments. The dreamer is allowed to
maintain privacy, and not admit that certain embarrassing
interpretations were true. But we would like to know, generally,
whether any of our remarks seemed plausible, and whether they caused
the dreamer to feel a "tingle" or "aha" in recognition of a correct
interpretation. The dreamer might want to continue the discussion of
the dream, with any further explanations which could narrow the
focus. We don't insist that the dream has a particular meaning; the
person has the freedom and privacy to develop his or her own
interpretation, using some or none of the input that has been given.
The discussion ends when the dreamer feels satisfied, or when the
time-limit has been reached. |
| The meeting ends. The leader might ask whether anyone wants to
add final comments to the discussion. Then the group conducts
another centering exercise, to settle any emotions which have been
stirred, and to help us to return to our regular state of mind. |
| The study continues between meetings. Dream groups are not meant
to be a substitute for individual work; we should still do
interpretations and dreamwork at home. And after our dream has been
reviewed by the group, we will benefit by reading the written
comments and giving more consideration to their validity. We can
prepare for the next meeting by doing a preliminary interpretation
for the dream which we plan to present, and by developing our
knowledge of dreams in general so that we can contribute
better-informed input for other people's dreams. |
| Dream groups can pursue related activities. Some groups have
guest speakers, a lending library of books and newsletters about
dreaming -- and group experiments in incubation, lucid dreaming, and
other aspects of the subject. They can also attempt a mutual dream;
on a particular night, they will try to assemble in the dreamscape
and share an activity which will be reported at the next meeting of
the group. |
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